I headed out to acting practise in the city last night, before teaming up with my wing man John to hit some clubs. We wanted to see what the Thursday night crowd were like, thinking they might be a little older and more mature than the Saturday night-ers. Our objective at this early stage of the approach process is simply to get over our approach anxiety by approaching women and starting conversations. Minimal pressure on ourselves; just chat for a minute or two, and we’ve met our goal.
We started off approaching a pair of girls who were sitting in a lounge bar. They were a little hesitant at first, but soon warmed up and were quite receptive to a chat. Turned out they had boyfriend/husbands, but when we didn’t flinch or run away when they said that, they relaxed a bit and became more chatty. It was good conversation practise, which helped put us at ease.
After that John and I approached a few more pairs of girls individually. I’ve been going with the conversation starter “Hey you guys look like fun, are you friendly?”. It often gets a bit of a laugh as it’s clearly a pick-up line, but it works… and most people do turn out to be friendly.
I have a girl I met from Canberra coming to visit Sydney this weekend, bringing 4 of her girl friends, and they want to hit the town on Saturday night. So I started using this scenario as conversation material, saying “Hey, I need your advice on something. I’ve got 5 girl friends coming from Canberra this weekend, and they want me to show them around town on Saturday night. What clubs do you recommend I take them to?”. This seemed to work really well; the story is true, it’s got some social proof built in because it shows that I have other female friends, and I got to ask the girl’s opinion on something.
It was pretty cold in town last night, so there weren’t a whole heap of women to approach and we called it a night about 11pm. We were pretty happy to say that we approached every available group of women that we saw in the clubs that night. We were nervous right before every approach, but we did it anyway. There’s something about being a man who faces his fears that builds self-confidence. And as John said “Imagine where we’re going to be in a years time if we keep practising 2 nights a week…”
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