I can still remember the day a really pretty girl from my Venturer group stopped to talk to me at the bus stop on the way home from high school. One of the kids at school the next day asked me “Who was that girl you were chatting up?”, and when I answered “That was Kate, from Venturers”, his mate remarked “Actually, it looked more like she was chatting you up!”. Well yes… Kate had a boyfriend at the time, and I was rather inept when it came to talking to women.
Not any more though! Today I headed out to catch up over lunch with Janice, a gorgeous intuitive girl from my acting class. While waiting for Janice, I found myself casually gazing down the street, straight past a very pretty blonde girl. She thought I was making eye contact with her, and wandered over to talk to me! I think the fact that I wasn’t actually trying to make eye contact with her, combined with the fact that I was waiting for another woman, made me particularly relaxed and approachable.
Her name turned out to be Gloria. “As in Gloria Jean’s”, she said.
“Well that’s amazing Gloria, because we’re both wearing jeans. What a co-incidence!”, I joked lamely. And it got lamer! My usual brain fart kicked in, and I immediately forgot her name… even though I had only just made a joke about it.
“What was your name again?”
“Gloria.”
“Oh yeah… I was just making a joke about that, wasn’t I?”
It’s amazing what you can get away with if you’re not fazed by stuffing something up in a conversation with a woman. I think I actually laughed at my own lameness at this point. Then I kept joking with her, teasing her about her accent:
“You’re obviously an aussie who’s trying to put on some sort of fake German accent.”
She took the bait and ran with it.
“Yeah, I’m planning to have a baaar-by with some of my maaates!”, she mimicked.
“Fair dinkum.”
“I can’t believe it!”, she said, “You’re the first person to spot that I’m German!!! Usually people think my accent is Swiss or Swedish or something, probably because of my blonde hair.”
“Yeah, well, that’s because your attempt at a German accent isn’t actually very good. But if you keep practising, I’m sure you’ll get it down pat.”, I teased.
She loved it, just kept on flirting with me. Around about then, Janice arrived. I introduced them, and we chatted briefly before Janice and I headed off to a great deep-and-meaningful over lunch. I love women that are more than just a pretty face; that have depth and substance. She has a boyfriend, but I’m really glad we’ve become friends because she’s an awesome person.
This encounter highlighted how much more approachable I am when I’m relaxed. It’s easy to relax when I’m not expecting anything, and especially easy to relax around a woman I’ve just met, when I know there’s another waiting for me. That way there’s no pressure, either on me, or on my newfound female friend. In hindsight, I should have asked for Gloria’s number, and I probably didn’t do that because I was worried what Janice would think. That’s my next hurdle to get over; but all-round it was a successful impromptu interaction.
